


For Science

by StrangeBeautiful



Category: Naruto
Genre: A bit of sensei kink, A little bit of feelings snuck in at the end, Anal Sex, Big Dick Minato, Birthday Orgy, But his students are feral little hornballs, Crack, Everyone fucks everyone basically, F/F, F/M, I'm not sorry, M/M, Multi, Namikaze Minato is doing his best, Nipple Play, Polyamory, Self-Indulgent Porn, Sensitive Nipple Gang, They're gonna need to buy more lube after this, Tittyfucking, Vaginal Sex, everyone is a little drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeBeautiful/pseuds/StrangeBeautiful
Summary: “I want to fall asleep on the world’s fastest titties.”“E-Excuse me?” Minato squeaks, though it doesn’t deter his oldest student from rubbing himself against the older man’s sternum. “I do not have titties,” he chokes out.For the first time in nearly fifteen minutes, Rin speaks, face flushed and a little wobbly. “You definitely do, Sensei. And they’re very nice,” she hiccups. “Objectively, you know.”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Namikaze Minato/Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Nohara Rin/Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Nohara Rin/Uchiha Obito/Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Namikaze Minato/Nohara Rin, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Nohara Rin/Uzumaki Kushina, Uchiha Obito/Uzumaki Kushina
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81





	For Science

**Author's Note:**

> This is shameless, self-indulgent Team Minato + Kushina porn. Everyone is of age, very bisexual, very poly, and very into this. It is not meant to be taken seriously but is absolutely meant to make you laugh and make you horny.
> 
> That being said, I owe this idea to myadamantiumheart who suggested that drunk Obito comment on Minato having the world's fastest titties, and somehow, 4K words of porn later, this came to be. 
> 
> Also, just to clarify because there are a lot of fucking (ha) bodies in this: I always write Obito as being the oldest, Rin as the middle, and Kakashi as the youngest of the team. I have no idea if that's canon or not, but rock and roll, motherfuckers!
> 
> Enjoy this large helping of smut!

Minato truly has great intentions when he suggests that his team celebrate Kakashi’s coming-of-age by drinking at his home. He knows of their penchant for trouble and property damage--typically due to Obito, but occasionally Obito and Kakashi combined--and he feels that it would just be all-around safer for the village as a whole to have Kakashi’s initial experience with alcohol in a contained place.

Inevitably, he just _knows_ that someone will have too much to drink, and he will likely spend the night rubbing one of his student’s backs in the bathroom, perhaps consoling another as they cry over unnecessarily hurt feelings from a barbed remark. In the morning, he’ll make them breakfast with some gentle reminders about moderation and proper hydration before sending them on their way.

Unfortunately for him, Minato’s team has other plans.

“I just think you’re all so good at things,” Kakashi slurs, his body slung over the laps of his sensei and teammates. “Rin, your shuriken are just,” he pauses to make a vague throwing gesture, “on _point,_ and Obito, your eyes are red like roses, and they _see_ things.” 

Obito scoffs from his spot beside Minato. 

“Moron, that’s what eyes are supposed to do,” the Uchiha replies haughtily. 

The whine Kakashi lets out only solidifies his drunken state. “They’re special eyes! I’m being _nice,_ Obito. Take your compliment or get fucked,” Kakashi grumbles.

Rin giggles into her cup as Minato’s face falls into his palm.

“Boys,” their sensei insists with his _very intimidating_ Hokage voice, “let’s not fight tonight.” 

“Not fighting,” Obito mumbles petulantly, “I just want him to _respect_ my eyes.”

“I think a change in subject would be ideal,” Minato interrupts, feeling quite like the conversation is going in a direction that will end in hurt feelings or damaged furniture.

Eyes squinting, Kakashi reaches over and pokes his sensei in the chest. “No, ‘cause we haven’t even gotten to why you’re good yet, Sensei.”

“Aa, we don’t have to talk about me,” Minato brushes his youngest student off.

This redirection appears to completely rid Obito of his previously sour mood. 

“Yeah, Sensei, you’re like _zoom_ fast!” 

“Hiraishin isn’t like a _zoom,_ it’s like a…” Kakashi trails off, leaning back against Rin’s bosom. She busies herself by petting his silver hair with her free hand, bringing a content smile to the silver-haired ninja’s face. “Like a _whoosh_!” 

“It’s way more of a zoom than a whoosh, are you kidding me--”

“Sensei is not a vehicle, he’s a person, and people whoosh--”

“Who cares about the sound, he’s so fast!”

Minato’s genius mind works tirelessly to prevent the rapid degeneration of this conversation, but his oldest student finds a way to throw the most unflappable shinobi for a loop. With a dull thud, Obito’s face collides with Minato’s chest, and he nuzzles the older man with his warm cheeks.

“I want to fall asleep on the world’s fastest titties.”

“E-Excuse me?” Minato squeaks, though it doesn’t deter his oldest student from rubbing himself against the older man’s sternum. “I do not have _titties,_ ” he chokes out.

For the first time in nearly fifteen minutes, Rin speaks, face flushed and a little wobbly. “You definitely do, Sensei. And they’re very nice,” she hiccups. “Objectively, you know.”

Minato is horrified at the thought of becoming the subject of a rather inappropriate discussion, his mouth agape. “We’re not here to talk about my, uh…” his voice broke.

“Your titties?” Obito asks with glee as he reaches up to pinch Minato’s nipples through his shirt. 

The older man yelps in alarm at the sudden starbursts of pain. “Hey!”

“He does have very nice titties,” Kakashi agrees sincerely. “I mean, have you seen him without a shirt?” 

The rest of his team nods dreamily in reply.

“His nipples are like… the perfect color,” Obito says. “Like a pretty peach.”

Feeling hot all of a sudden in his turtleneck, Minato wonders if he has over-imbibed. Sure, he had a couple of drinks along with his students, but he absolutely has to be hallucinating this conversation. There is no way his students could be discussing his _nipples,_ of all things.

“It helps that his pecs are so muscular, too,” Rin pipes in with her anatomical knowledge. “It really makes them stand out.” She beams with pride when her teammates wholeheartedly agree.

Kakashi’s hand moves to pensively stroke the underside of his own chin, mulling over this new piece of information. 

“You think his titties are big enough that we could fuck them?”

 _“What?”_ Minato screeches in horror.

The question immediately prompts Obito to throw Kakashi’s legs off of him, cockily pulling his shirt overhead. “I dunno, but I’m ready to try!”

“For science,” Rin hums in approval.

Minato’s mouth works wordlessly at the sight of Obito’s tanned skin, but his train of thought is suddenly interrupted by the resulting ruckus of his wife barrelling through the front door of their home.

“Kushina!” he gasps helplessly. Surely, she’ll get him out of this utterly improper situation.

His rosy-cheek wife laughs immediately at the sight of her embarrassed husband and his shirtless student. 

“Well, _well,_ what do we have here?”

“We’re talking about Sensei’s titties!” Rin replies dutifully. The younger woman’s words make Kushina _roar_ with laughter as she flops back onto the loveseat across from the four of them. 

“Rin, c’mere,” she says, her voice thick from the sweet liquor she and Mikoto had shared all night. 

Rin obediently bobbles her way over to Kushina, the older woman easily tugging the medic-nin into her lap. The brunette hums happily as Kushina begins playing with her hair, though the redhead’s eyes never leave her flustered husband. 

“You wanna hear a secret?” Kushina asks conspiratorially.

Obito and Kakashi light up instantly. They’re ninja - _of course,_ they want to hear a secret. 

Only when Kushina is sure that she has the undivided attention of everyone in the room, including an increasingly distressed Minato, she whispers in a hushed voice, “Mina’s nipples are _very_ sensitive.”

 _“Kushina,”_ Minato hisses in betrayal, his look morphing into alarm as the boys sandwiching him suddenly give him a feral look. He doesn’t have time to protest before Kakashi and Obito use the power of teamwork to tear his shirt off. 

He feels very naked in the room, his apparently coveted nipples pebbling after being revealed to the cool air. Both Rin and Kushina giggle as Kakashi trails his hand down Minato’s chest just to watch the way he shivers. 

“This is a bad idea,” Minato gulps, the line of his throat working wildly as Obito kisses his way down the older man’s neck. 

But when he looks up, he finds Kushina pressing her palm between Rin’s legs, both of them flushed with heat. A spike of arousal shoots through the blonde at the sight - Kushina may be touching Rin, but they are watching _him._ There is still a low simmering of guilt within him, but if Kushina can put her hands on his student, maybe it isn’t so bad to let his students touch him. 

The logic works fine enough for his liquor-muddled brain. 

Obito brushes his calloused fingertips down Minato’s ribcage, the size of his hands starkly contrasting what he’s used to with Kushina. Contrary to the patient touch of his oldest student, Kakashi goes straight for his prize, wrapping his lips around one of Minato’s pink nipples and sucking. 

_“Ah!”_ Minato gasps, his hips twitching at the bolt of pleasure drawn out by Kakashi’s puckered lips.

“They’re so pretty together, don’t you think?” Minato hears Kushina murmur to Rin, her fingers dipping under his female student’s skirt to tease at the waistband of her panties. “I bet they’ve been thinking about Minato like this for _ages._ ”

Rin’s teeth sink into her bottom lip, squirming up in an attempt to work Kushina’s hand further down her skirt. “They have,” the brunette agrees, apparently at her most honest when she’s drunk. 

Minato struggles to maintain his train of thought as Obito’s lips tease the crook of his neck, the younger man slotting a thick thigh between his legs to give him something to grind against. 

“Such a good girl,” Kushina purrs into soft hair. Bliss spreads through the younger woman’s expression at the praise. “Tell me, Rin. Do you like it when they take you at the same time?” 

“I _love_ it,” she moans as Kushina finally rewards her by slipping her hand under the lacy fabric of her panties. 

Between the dual ministrations of his male students and Kushina’s words, Minato is losing his mind. Obito plucks at his unattended nipple while Kakashi still greedily sucks at the opposite peak, and he can’t help but arch into Obito’s leg, the friction both delicious and frustrating with his cock trapped in his pants. The blonde whines helplessly and Obito correctly reads the sound for what it was, using his free hand to unbutton Minato’s pants. 

Both of the boys pause at the revelation of their teacher’s erection straining through his boxers. Kakashi inhales sharply as Obito draws a questing finger over the long, _long_ length of it. “Holy _fuck._ ”

“You’re _huge,_ Sensei,” the Uchiha purrs appreciatively as he pushes the waistband of Minato’s boxers down, the blonde’s thick and heavy cock springing back to slap against his sculpted abdomen.

“Wow,” Rin gapes before moaning and squirming under Kushina’s touch, the red-head running two fingers through Rin’s soaking wet seam before drawing circles over her clit. 

The older woman grins at the collective reaction of her husband’s team. “It feels _amazing,_ too. Stretches you in all the right ways.” 

Kakashi nearly salivates at Kushina’s words. 

“I want it inside me,” he groans, and Minato shudders underneath him in response. The thought of fucking his lanky silver-haired student makes his dick pulse. 

“No way, I’m first!” Obito shoots back. “You didn’t even have the balls to take your shirt off.”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m the one who gets my pants off first. He can’t fuck you if you still have clothes in the way, idiot--”

 _“Boys!”_ Rin barks out, choking off a whimper as Kushina presses two fingers inside her sopping wet cunt. The two younger men look back at Rin like kicked puppies, and it is entirely obvious who runs the show between his three students. “Share nicely. I want a turn, too.”

Minato is on the verge of combusting from his team discussing _taking turns_ with him. “D-Don’t I get a say in this?” the blonde asks weakly, only to be summarily shut down by his team and his wife. 

_“No,”_ they chorus before diving back into action. 

Kakashi stretches over Minato’s chest to sink his teeth into an abused and sensitive nipple as Obito drops to the floor, spreading his sensei’s legs and teasing the head of the blonde’s cock with his tongue. The sudden assault of wet mouths pulls a desperate sound from Minato’s lips, the pleasure-pain of being bitten and licked simultaneously doing wonders to tighten the coil of arousal in his belly. When his hands clutch for silver hair with one hand and dark with the other, the simultaneous noises of approval he receives in response make his head spin. 

At the same time, Kushina’s palm grinds against Rin’s clit, and the younger woman rolls her hips into the touch. Crooked fingers play her like a fiddle, sweet cries being stolen by Kushina’s lips. A soft moan escapes the brunette as Kushina’s hand slips under her top to toy with one of Rin’s breasts.

“O-Obito!” Minato moans desperately as his oldest student swallows him down, the tight clutch of his throat sending delightful shockwaves through the blonde’s body. Eternally competitive, Kakashi reaches up to rake his blunt nails over Minato’s already swollen and red nipples, making the older man squirm under his hands. When Kakashi is rewarded with a cry of his name as well, he captures the blonde’s lips, his slick tongue gliding against Minato’s.

“Are you gonna come in Obito’s mouth?” his silver-haired student asks after they part, and Minato finds himself transfixed by the movement of Kakashi’s rarely revealed lips. “He’ll swallow every drop. He _loves_ it.”

Minato intends to respond, he really does, but the sensation of his cock hitting the back of Obito’s throat disintegrates his vocabulary. When Minato turns his gaze down to his oldest student, however, he finds that Kakashi’s hands are in Obito’s dark hair. There is something so sinful about it, Kakashi guiding Obito’s pace, _making_ the Uchiha take his cock. The raven-haired man swallows him down to the hilt again, and Kakashi holds him there, watching with dark amusement as Obito’s eyes water. 

Feeling the delightful ripple of Obito’s throat, Minato moans loudly as Kakashi pulls him back, giving his oldest student a chance to catch his breath. 

“P-Please, I’m so close,” the blonde begs, unconcerned with the neediness evident in his voice.

“Such a good boy, Mina - asking so nicely,” Kushina replies with a grin as she makes Rin whimper with her fingers. “Take care of him, boys.” 

The pair hardly require permission. Obito returns to sucking at a wild pace, and Kakashi’s fingers barely brush Minato’s nipples before the blonde spills violently into Obito’s mouth, the vibration of the younger man’s moans making his orgasm even more powerful. As if connected, Rin’s high-pitched wails fill the room as she gushes over Kushina’s fingers, slickness drenching his wife’s hand. 

Boneless and in a pleasurable haze, Minato hardly realizes that Obito is standing, beckoning Kakashi forward to share a wet kiss. It only takes a moment before Minato’s mind catches up to the sight before him, Obito’s curled tongue spilling white into the silver-haired man’s greedy mouth, and his spent cock twitches as he watches his former students _share his cum._

Rin shoots the gap between them when they separate, coming over to straddle Minato’s legs. The feeling of her soft thighs against his skin is almost too much, his body still teeming with electricity after his orgasm, but Rin pays him no mind as she meets him with parted lips.

“Come here, Obito,” Kushina beckons, leaving Kakashi to gripe about having to wait his turn.

Rin must sense Kakashi’s displeasure because she drags his hands down to settle onto the curve of her hip bones, never disrupting the way she’s kissing the remaining protest straight from Minato’s mouth. She’s so soft and smells like floral shampoo, and when she pulls back, she immediately reaches up to draw her shirt overhead. 

“You look amazing when you come, Sensei,” Rin says casually as Kakashi unhooks her bra, freeing bouncing breasts that hover mere inches from his face. Minato can’t help but lick his lips at the sight of her pretty pink nipples, his mouth puckering at the thought of worshipping those peaks. “Won’t you touch me?” his student asks.

He can’t deny her when she requests it so sweetly of him. Minato’s hands cup the weight of her breasts, and he makes his previous desire a reality, lapping at one tightening nipple with his tongue. Rin’s thighs clench down on his legs, and he feels a strand of wetness dribble down from her cunt, rolling down his inner thigh. The smell of her is incredible, different from Kushina, but still sweet. Minato wishes he had the time to bury his face between her thighs, but Kakashi’s fingers are already busy, two pressed inside to stretch her. 

“ _Ahhhh,_ s-shit,” Rin moans, her hands roughly sinking into locks of Minato’s blonde hair. He can see the rhythm of Kakashi’s fingers stutter as Rin clamps down, and the silver-haired man chides her gently.

“Relax, Rin,” his youngest student coaxes. “I’m just getting you ready to take him. He’s big, you know.” 

Rin whines as Kakashi fucks in with a third finger, stretching her open. The sight of her dripping around Kakashi’s hand has Minato fully hard again in record time, thick wetness spreading and pooling into the silver-haired man’s palm. He sneaks in a small reddened mark on the curve of her breast before Kakashi draws his fingers out with a wet, slick sound, Rin’s pussy clenching desperately on nothing as Kakashi’s hand sinks to the base of Minato’s cock, steadying his length so Rin can sink down onto him. 

She’s so _wet._

 _“Fuck,”_ Minato gasps as the wet vice of Rin’s cunt takes him in, bobbing up and down gently to take a little more each time. She works herself down with an intense focus, her teeth digging into her bottom lip until the delicate skin of her thighs drapes over his hip bones. When he bottoms out within her, she shudders and shakes like she’s already on the verge of another orgasm, and Minato is suddenly afraid that he won’t last very long at all.

Kakashi has apparently overcome his irritation at being jilted earlier, entertaining himself by rubbing sloppy circles on Rin’s clit, his other hand pressing low on Rin’s navel as if he can feel Minato’s thick length inside her. 

“Sensei, Sensei,” Rin whimpers, and the sweet sound rings in his ears even as he catches a jolly laugh from across the room. 

“Oh, are my tits not good enough for you, Obito?” Kushina teases, now wearing nothing but a mischievous grin. Obito is stunned as he’s shoved back into the chair that his wife had previously occupied, the redhead doing away with the Uchiha’s pants and boxers. He isn’t sure when Kushina had time to obtain the bottle of lube that they only keep around for _special circumstances,_ but Minato is still grateful for the view when she drizzles her perfect breasts with oil, leaning over to slide Obito’s dick into the slick valley made of pillowy soft skin. 

Obito’s stilted groan matches Minato’s own when Rin picks up her pace, muscles rippling around his cock. Kakashi’s chin rests on Rin’s shoulder, his eyes burning into Minato as he continues to bring her to new heights. She was already wet, but she’s gushing now, her slickness cascading down his balls and he can tell that she’s close from the way she clings to his shoulders desperately. 

“Ooh, I’m gonna, _oh,_ p-please,” Rin babbles, and she makes such a pretty sight with her back arched, her thighs quivering around him with how much she wants to come. Minato tilts his hips up, fucking up and into the soft and tender part the makes her cry out his name, his real name, and she comes undone, dragging him along with her.

When the white spots leave his vision, Kakashi gently lifts Rin with one arm around her waist, her face blissfully lax. Minato understands that all too well - he can’t even remember the last time he had two orgasms back to back, and he feels thoroughly wrecked. 

Kakashi’s dark eyes, however, tell him that he’s far from done yet. His youngest student strips in front of him, Rin’s residual wetness streaking the black of his shirt as he tugs it off. 

“Time,” Minato rasps out, his throat raw from the sounds that his students keep pulling out of him. “Haven’t you heard of a refractory period?” 

This statement drags Rin back into reality, and she gives a knowing smirk. Her hand glows green, warm as it seeks his softening length. His student’s chakra always feels lovely merging with his own, and this time, it tingles as she stimulates the blood flow in his cock, coaxing him to full hardness again. Minato looks on with a sense of awe and horror as he’s ready to go for a _third_ round, and he wonders if they’ll be caught in this cycle all night. 

He feels both incredibly excited and very old. 

Kakashi lays Rin beside them on the couch, in the perfect position to watch as the silver-haired man makes a gesture to Obito for the bottle of lube. He catches it without breaking searing eye contact, and as to be expected, Kakashi is the last one to be fully naked among the five of them. 

“Kakashi,” Minato breathes as he’s straddled for a second time.

“Just watch,” his student says as he presses a slick finger against his own hole. Kakashi has grown into a gorgeous man, lanky and lean regardless of the muscle that he carries, and it’s a treat to see him so _expressive._

One finger turns quickly into two, and then three. He’s tantalizing but quick in his preparation, and when he fits the head of Minato’s cock against his entrance, the blonde interrupts with his reservations.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asks gingerly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

A slick sound from across the room halts as Obito jeers, “It’s okay, Sensei. Kakashi is a _size queen._ ”

“I hate you,” Kakashi snaps back before bearing down and taking Minato’s dick in one fell swoop. 

The sudden enveloping heat knocks the wind right out of Minato. “Oh, _Kakashi,_ ” he moans at the rippling of his youngest student’s walls around him.

“You’re so _big,_ ” Kakashi whines.

Rin throws him a knowing look from beside them, but Kakashi ignores her in favor of whimpering as Minato rolls his hips up into the pliant body above him. 

He nearly jumps out of his skin at an unexpected wet touch at the crease of his ass.

“W-What?” Minato mumbles, finding it hard to muster the words when Kakashi is working his dick masterfully. 

“Shh, it’s okay, Sensei,” Obito’s gravelly voice sounds from behind Kakashi’s back. His palms are warm on the back of Minato’s thighs. “Let me have you.”

After two life-altering orgasms, Minato is relaxed enough that there’s nearly no resistance as Obito stretches him open. Every nerve in his body is alight with electric pleasure, especially when his oldest student crooks his fingers in a way that makes him cry out.

“I’m gonna die,” Minato croaks, but a familiar pair of lips caress his cheek and bring him back from the brink of death. A halo of red surrounds him, the familiar scent of the woman he loves making him melt into the couch cushions. 

“Give us one more, Mina,” Kushina says, and he knows he’s at the mercy of his whirlwind of a wife and his whole damn team. 

Rin’s laces her fingers between his as Obito’s cock fills him, and he’s drowning, surrounded by sex and liquor and love. He isn’t sure where his body ends and they begin. All he knows is that everything is slick and wet and full of soft voices and hard bodies, that he’s rapidly approaching the precipice, and when he tumbles over the edge, there are four voices crooning to him. 

“So good for us,” his wife says with evident pride. “You can rest now.”

\---

Minato wakes up with a headache and a plate full of waffles on his naked chest.

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” Kushina sings as she clatters around the living room, dropping similar plates of breakfast onto Kakashi and Obito as well. The three of them groan in unison, their limbs still tangled together on the couch.

The blonde blinks blearily at a fully clothed Rin sipping a cup of tea and flipping through the newspaper. 

“How are you both so awake?” Obito asks. The same question is certainly ringing through Minato’s mind as well. 

“I metabolized the alcohol in my body before I went to bed,” Rin says matter-of-factly, looking perfectly healthy and pleasant. 

“And I very responsibly drank a large glass of water before bed,” Kushina chimes in.

More groans fill the room at the thinly veiled reprimand. 

“Ugh, I’m so sticky,” Kakashi whines as he peels his thighs apart, lifting himself up off of the couch. “Good morning, Sensei,” he says before Minato feels the soft press of Kakashi’s lips against his cheek.

He watches with interest as Obito, Rin, and Kushina receive the same affectionate greeting.

“Did you have a good birthday?” Kushina asks, reaching up to pat Kakashi’s silver head of hair. 

A flicker of heat flashes in Kakashi’s eyes and Minato wonders what he’s gotten himself into. 

“The best I could have asked for.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr under the handle strangebeautiful!


End file.
